In a long, mindful pause to watch birds feeding from our bird feeder I realize I am where I wanted to be years ago. How did that happen?
Dreams Of Where I Wanted To Be
I know from my own experience that dreams can be realized. But they don’t always happen as quickly as you would like or in the way you think things are going to happen. That is part of the fun. I have always had dreams of where I wanted to be. But if you always ‘want’, things don’t happen. You have to visualize things and behave as if they are happening. Then the Universe responds. Just not always how you expect!
Being An Artist
I Always Wanted To Be An Artist
When I was younger I wanted to be an artist. I talk about this in a video presentation entitled ‘Follow What Makes Your Heart Smile‘. But practicality meant I had to earn a living and so I went to college to learn business administration and secretarial skills. Eventually I started my own business, but all the time art was my hobby, as by then I was married, with a mortgage and lots of bills to pay. Again practicality over heart desire – though I did enjoy my work I have to say.
Except art was more than a hobby really. It was a release from the stress of work and I felt joy when I was painting. I expressed who I was on canvas in order to try and figure that out! Something I am still trying to understand.
I also used art as a form of meditation, painting on glass which really slowed me down because of the need for accuracy. And pointillism-style ink drawings which took hours to complete a couple of inches. They took weeks to finish.
I confess, though, I am more into the big canvas, loud music and sploshing on the paint than I am the tiny detailed stuff. With my PhotoArt I have to pay more attention to detail of course.
I Became An Artist
As the prospect of early retirement became a reality a few years ago, I started considering the possibility of realizing my dream of where I wanted to be. And here I am four years later, an artist selling my work. Okay, you couldn’t live off the proceeds but they pay for the luxuries (for which read veterinary bills).
I Always Wanted To Live In The Countryside
When I was young, I had a clear vision of where I wanted to be living. In the countryside, surrounded by nature. I thought I had found that in a house in the UK but the sale fell through for various reasons. Then, on holiday here in Italy, I found the house of my dreams 22 years ago. It was like coming home.
The house was in three parts and having bought one part. I kept firmly in my mind the how it would be when the other two parts came up for sale. I hoped that would happen quickly but it was not to be. Over the years I kept visualizing achieving that goal and how it would feel. Well, finally, 11 years ago I achieved that goal which felt like completing a cycle in my life.
Living In Italy Had Been A Possibility Once Before
When I was in my early 20s I had the chance of taking a secretarial position in Florence in Italy (literally an hour by train from where I now live). But at the same time I had the chance of a job at the National Gallery in London and the art was more of a draw (no pun intended) than travel at that point in my life. I didn’t get the National Gallery job and I lost the chance of the job in Florence. Yet here I am living in Italy. I often think I was always meant to be here.
A Vision Of An Old Lady Surrounded By Cats
When I was young I had a dream of me as an ‘old’ gray-haired lady, looking quite a lot like my grandmother, leaning on a white picket fence containing a cottage garden full of color and flowers. Surrounded by cats. Over the years I would often think of that dream and how nice it felt. But the Italian house is nothing like that!
Today I stood, not at a picket fence but at a metal one covered in Buddhist prayer flags, surrounded by color and with the sound of the tinkling bells hanging from the trees. Surrounded by cats. And I realized suddenly that I had become the lady in my dream. It made me laugh out loud! And it felt good.
Are you where you wanted to be?
Before you go
My name is Dorothy Berry-Lound an artist and writer. You can find out more about my art and writing at https://dorothyberryloundart.com.
Thank you for reading!